I'm ready for you to turn to snow now, please.
There were so many of you in the parking lot this morning, I couldn't avoid all of you... I'm very sorry for the loss of so many of your brethren.
Would you please stop smelling like worms now? Thanks.
Dear Old Navy,
Sammy says you rock.
Dear Ornery Young Woman Working at Wendy's in Mt. Pleasant,
You should consider a new career. Also, Joycie says you should consider shaving your mustache.
It's been fun. Really, really fun. I will miss you.