Now, in the start of the end of my forties, there is so much about my life that's improved over my thirties or twenties... but, as there always is, there's a trade-off. My iron stomach must be gettin' rusty. I have discovered, painfully discovered, that I can no longer eat certain chocolates or corn. These 2 food items can raise holy havoc with my digestive system. Can raise. Notice I didn't say do raise, or always raises... just sometimes can raise. Or maybe it's may raise. Whatever.
I know that if I eat anything chocolate or anything with or made of corn, I'm taking a risk. I may, or may not, end up with painful stomach cramps and the need to spend far too much time in the bathroom. Maybe that's sharing too much, but... well, too bad, it's my blog.
For me, the primary problem in this scenario is that sometimes I can eat that chocolate whatever or that stuff with corn, and I'll be just fine. But I know that most of the time now, I won't be fine. And not only do I inflict pain upon myself, but it puts me in a dreadful mood, and thus I'm not usually very nice to my family.
But I enjoy chocolate and corn... very, very much. Corn on the cob, cornmeal muffins, popcorn, corn chips & salsa, corn in chili, corn in vegetable stew. Chocolate. 'nuff said.
One more point, the older I get, the more intense the bad reactions to chocolate and corn become.
So... why do I continue to eat these two foods? These two wonderful, wonderful foods that have a nasty, evil aura for me now... why? I know better. I know my life would be improved to simply just give them up. Am I dependent upon them? Can I not truly just decide "no more" and stick to that? Am I trying to reward myself, or am I really trying to punish myself for some reason? My husband says, "just don't eat them." Can he truly not understand how difficult it is to give up something in your life such as chocolate? or corn? Do I care more about chocolate and corn than his good opinion or the affect my resulting behavior has on him & my kids?
I know I should just never eat chocolate or corn again. I should just stop cold turkey.
But I also know I'm not a perfect human. Last night I had an ice cream cone at home, some kind of Edy's chocolate something that Kev bought, and this morning I'm regretting it. Guess I'll start my cold turkey again today.
A fresh start.