Friday, March 20, 2009

Really big shew

This has been a heck of a week... I had mentioned that I had a bad reaction to the most recent antibiotic I was taking, and that I had gotten yet more meds to help that situation.

The meds to get over those other meds caused problems, too, so I've had to take... yep, more meds. [Insert scream here.]

Basically, I've been dealing with feelings of vertigo in varying degrees of intensity for the past 9, 10 or 12 days or so. And it sucks. To help calm down those awful feelings, I've had to take Antivert and Valium, as well as more Vicodin than usual.

Some young folks out there might be saying to themselves, "Whoo hoo! Party on!" To them I say, "Youth is wasted on the young."


I just wanna feel normal again.

And the dreams. Oy! I've had some really strange dreams...

Remember the Ed Sullivan Show?

When I was little, I remember watching that TV show a lot. I remember once there was a guy who came on the show, and he kept plates spinning, plates that were placed on top of long poles.

The guy would rush, rush, rush from one spinning plate to the next, giving them a spin to keep them going. That plate spinning thing was kind of popular way back then...

I remember being quite fascinated with the plate spinning. And these plates were china plates, none of those plastic plates like they have nowadays. What crap! Cheaters.

The plate spinning has been embedded in my brain forever. On days when I feel particularly hurried or stressed, with too many irons in the fire, my mind goes to spinning plates. This, of course, always occurs at work. With the week I've had, which required I work from home, since the meds I've been taking this week aren't recommended for driving (duh), I guess I've been feeling a bit stressed out. I woke this morning to a very vivid dream that included spinning plates. I kept trying to keep them going, but they kept breaking. And when they broke, they would somehow end up in my lap, not on the floor. But they must have broke on the floor, because I remember the noise they made falling and breaking. So, anyway, I had my lap full of all these broken plates, but I still had to keep the plates not yet broken spinning and spinning so they wouldn't break, but somehow not lose the pieces in my lap. And the broken plates in my lap were really heavy, and they hurt. I had dark bluejeans on, so I knew the blood wouldn't show that much, and I was so relieved that the blood wouldn't show.

And then I woke up. My heart was racing. And of course, yes, the first thing I did was check for bleeding wounds. And then I was like, "What? Huh?"

And then, "Whew!" And then, "Ah, noooooooo......." [Insert vertigo here.]

Yeah, and I don't think ya hafta be Sigmund Freud to figure this one out.

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