Monday, December 29, 2008

can't get it out of my head

Anyone who knows us well knows our family likes us our TV and movies. Big fans. With the cold weather and the colds & flu lately, we have been watching some more movies than usual together. Also because some of our usual favorite TV shows haven't had any new episodes... *sigh*

Between my recording a ton of movies from various channels and Kev picking up some DVD rentals, we have had quite a mix of movies lately. Watched a few good ones I recorded, like "Die Hard" and other old ones. Some cheesy but good Hallmark Movies, like "Generation Gap" and "A Christmas Visitor", along with Kev's rented "Knocked Up" and some others... funny how the bad ones are easier for me to remember than the good ones...

Because we saw some really, really bad ones... like:

"Far North" - I will say this movie had some incredibly talented actors and some beautiful scenery. But... Oh. My. Heck. The ending is so awful that I can't stop thinking about it every now and then. Warning: if you continue to read here, it will totally spoil the movie for you. However, since I strongly recommend you do not spend any precious minutes of your precious time on this awful movie, here's the ending... Basically, a woman raises a child from an infant as her own daughter, when the daughter is a young woman, a man enters their very secluded world and the daughter and man fall in love... apparently the mom also loves the man, so while he is out hunting, she kills her daughter, then cuts off her face from her dead body, dresses in her daughter's clothes and then puts the skin of her daughters face onto her own so that she can fool the man when he returns to the darkened teepee into having sex with her. Which he does, quite quickly, by the way, and then when he's done and kissing who he believes is his young love, ummm... well, the face moves around on the mom's face and the truth is creepily apparent. So the man freaks Big Time, and well, who wouldn't, eh... and runs out of the teepee stark naked into the arctic weather. To perish, one would assume. The mom lays there with her hands on her, um, faces, crying. Roll credits. *shiver* Awful. I can't get the picture of the mom washing the daughter's face skin out of my head. Nice. If you look at the IMDB comments, one person, who liked the movie, wrote "I just hope people will remember it." Your hope has come true, commenter, but not for the reasons you seem to think... Ugh.

And, "Open Water" - yes, yes, I know... everyone knows how bad that movie is. But we hadn't seen it. I recorded it, so in our defense, it's not like we paid a rental fee. And I can't really claim that we watched the whole thing, since I spent an awful lot of time hitting the forward button on my DVR remote. I had forgotten it was based on a true story, though I had seen a TV show about it one time. Kev, Sammy and I watched it together the other evening. Very bad. But then I remembered that the comic Ralphie May had done a little skit about going to see that movie, and he was hilarious.

And finally, Hallmark's "A Kiss at Midnight" - ok, the movie was fine, for the cheesy romantic movie it was intended to be (I actually got Kev to watch it with me yesterday morning!). But what was awful, what was so awful, we were practically mesmerized by it... was Dyan Cannon, more specifically, Dyan Cannon's skin - her face and body. Now, Dyan Cannon is/was a good actor and a beautiful woman. But, as one article I read stated, "Dyan Cannon is the obvious victim of trying too hard to look young." The woman is going to be 72 years old very soon. In this movie, I couldn't stop looking at the difference between her face and her neck and arms. She is walking around in tight jeans (kudos for any 72 year old), but with high heels and she walks so funny... like an old person trying not to walk like an old person. Her arms are so very wrinkled in contrast to her face. If you click on the link to the movie, you'll see the photo of her with Faith Ford, and notice that Dyan is wearing gloves. There is a reason for the gloves. I think her worked-on face makes the rest of her look even worse. It is so strange. Sadly strange. With Dyan's bone structure, she should have just let herself go... yes, she would have looked her age, but still beautiful. The creepiness of her face vs. body totally ruined the sweet, little movie for me.

So there you have it. My effort to purge the memories of these 3 awful movies out of my head... and into yours. Enjoy.

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