Friday, August 29, 2008

Seeking Balance

We humans are, by our innateness, self-centered beings. It is truly about the me of each of us. Has to be. I would give my life for my kids, but you can sure as heck bet I'm gonna do my best to save myself, too. Of course. For one thing, my kids need me. It's like on airplanes... put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then your child. You can't help anyone if you're dead, y'know...

When you hear about something new or an experience by someone else, you automatically relate that information to your own self. At least, that's what I think... after 48 years of being myself and being around other humans.

Like, for example, (an example I've mentioned before, I'm sure) have you ever gotten a new vehicle and then suddenly notice how many vehicles just like yours are on the road? There are many, many 2002 Light Bronzemist Metallic Buick LeSabres out there. Tons of 'em. And me in one of them. But until I got in mine, I never truly took notice of all the others.

Lately, I am obsessed with balance. This vertigo I have is still kicking my sorry ass, and thus my obsession with balance. And now, everywhere I turn, I am hearing the word "balance" or I see it written somewhere. Balance, balance, balance. It's driving me nuts. (As my Momma would say, as far as I have to drive, I might as well walk!... especially with gas prices nowadays, huh?!!!)

All I want is balance.

Dear Universe, enough with the constant reminders already.
Very truly yours,

I took yesterday on vacation (officially, but managed to work 6 hours from home before my "day" started), and Sammy and I went shopping for him for new socks and boxers and shoes. School starts on Tuesday.

The poor boy. It should have been a fun day, and it eventually was, but the morning was trashed. I was Very Ornery & Moody. Sammy felt the brunt of it in Wal-Mart in the aisle where all the Hanes and Fruits of the Looms hang out. Oh, very fun for him, I assure you.

But we managed to fill up the cart and get out of the store still together and not constantly growling. As we exited the store, I noticed it was very busy. Many people, many cars. An older, kinda crappy red Camero that was stopped waiting for pedestrians suddenly screeched into a too-fast hard left and zoomed down the parking lot lane. Scared the crap out of a bunch of people, a dad with 3 little kids and an old guy right behind them, he with a cane & who just about lost his balance... he had to grab the trunk of a car he was next to. The Camero did a right turn and came up the lane toward where Sammy & I had parked. She parked further down, though, and so was walking towards us as we were unloading our cart contents into our trunk... well, actually, only Sammy was doing that activity. So this hard-looking, dark-haired young woman walks toward me... I'm staring at her intently, & not kindly. As she comes even with me, I say, quite venomously, "Nice driving." She looks at me, and I glare at her and continue, "You're either an idiot or an asshole. Or both." Sammy tries to shrink into the trunk. She keeps walking, and I suppose, she's trying to think of something to say back. The skank finally replies, throwing both her arms up wide and shrugging her shoulders, voice and gestures both loud, "Well, hey, I guess some of us just have to drive that way." Whoa, now that retort really showed me, huh. I said, "Oh, then you're both. You're both an idiot AND an asshole!" By that time, she was at least 20 feet away, so I'm hollering it at her back. Loudly. I'm pretty sure I unnerved her; she didn't turn around and her pace increased. I'm also sure I could have taken her skinny ass easily. Especially as a tag team with Sammy.

That. Felt. So. Good.

I looked around and people everywhere were looking at us; with many grins toward me. I smiled with satisfaction and put our empty cart properly and carefully into the cart corral.

On another day, I might have wondered what was wrong in her life to make her drive with such anger and disregard for the other human lives around her, and maybe even would have felt a little sorry for her... but really, sometimes, people are truly just idiots and assholes. I was ready for it yesterday morning. Bring it on, baby.

Turned my whole day around, really.

Then Sammy and I went to Damon's for lunch, and it was smooth sailing and happy times the rest of the afternoon. (Hey, do yourself a HUGE favor and try Damon's Grilled Caesar Salad... so good! They grill the romaine. Yes, grill it. It is so, so good.)

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