Irony

My 16-year-old daughter went to a birthday party this past weekend. Most of her friends were there, mostly sophomores, but lots of juniors, seniors and freshmen, too. Since it turned out to be "pretty lame," she was home way before 11pm. And with our usual routine, we sat together and talked and talked.

Turns out that 3 girls in my daughter's circle of friends (1 or 2 of them are still 15 years old) have all lost their virginity. With the probability, but as yet inconclusive, of a couple more girls in the same club. I'm not really surprised (when I was in 6th grade, a 13-year-old classmate had a baby), but I am surprised at who the girls are, and that they're so open about it. Or maybe it's not that they are openly talking about it, but that so many kids know about it all. All the details.

I know their moms, and I'm pretty sure they'd be unhappy about it.

What's ironic is that I was just recently asking advice from 2 of those 3 moms about letting my daughter go to this poker party that another girl has planned on the ideal weekend of when her folks will be out of town. I asked them how they felt about it, would they let their girls go, didn't they think an adult should be present, etc.

I don't think I'm overprotective, but my gut instinct was not to let my daughter go to that party, mostly because the little hostess is so thrilled about her folks not being around to bug them, and also because she seems to me to be a bit "fast" and I was worried about her real plans for the party, i.e., BOYS and BOOZE. I trust my kid, and I know she can handle herself, but I don't want her in a situation that may have some nasty fallout.

What's also ironic is that this girl I was thinking had sluttish tendencies turns out to be one that was totally not on the list of non-virgins. My bet would've been on her as the first. Huh.

And anyway, I know I don't have to worry about my daughter -- the birthday party started to get a little out of hand, what with too many kids there and too many different "clicks" (some big time drinkers, for one thing), so she and 3 of her friends just bailed pronto. No fallout on my smart girl.